Captain Krapp — the private poo, wee and hydration logbook (with jokes)
Every hero needs a sidekick for their daily business. Captain Krapp is a cheerful, no-nonsense way to log your bowel movements, bladder visits and fluid intake — keeping every bit of it on your phone and nowhere else.
Tap to log. That’s it. No sign-up, no account, no cloud, no catch.
WHAT YOU CAN LOG
• Bowel movements on the Bristol Stool Scale — the proper one
• Urine shade, matched to a simple colour chart
• Fluid intake, with a hydration ring and XP to keep you topped up
• Quick notes and symptoms, whenever you fancy jotting something down
THE KRAPP REPORT
Generate a clean PDF summary of everything you’ve logged over any date range — totals, distributions, fluid intake, daily counts and your own notes — laid out tidily in one document. It’s your data, summarised for you, to keep or share however you like. We never see it. We can’t — it never leaves your phone.
PRIVATE BY DESIGN — NOT BY PROMISE
• No accounts • No subscriptions • No ads • No cloud • No tracking
• Everything stored locally on your device, full stop
One payment and it’s yours. We don’t want your data, and we built the app so we couldn’t have it even if we did.
A BIT OF FUN ON THE THRONE
• Collectible awards to unlock as you go
• Professor Poo’s Fact of the Day — a surprising new one daily
• Three mini-games: Plop Drop (drop-and-merge), Fartboard (a soundboard dartboard, yes really), and Wee Sharpshooter (a tilt-to-aim Wild West showdown)
THE HONEST BIT
Captain Krapp is a logbook, not a medical device. It records and summarises what you enter — nothing more. It doesn’t diagnose, interpret, advise or replace professional medical care. If something’s worrying you, talk to a real healthcare professional.
One purchase. No subscriptions, ever. Download Captain Krapp and take command of your daily duties.